


Shiver

by hopefully



Category: Figure Skating RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: (yuzuru is the one pining) (if you squint), Gen, Light Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, i love and miss tatsuki machida so much part 23056793, resentment and jealousy, set before the infamous Surprise Retirement of 2014 Japanese Nationals (tm), very lightly implied one-sided attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 00:01:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17233622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopefully/pseuds/hopefully
Summary: December 27, 2014. Tatsuki seeks peace and quiet before the free skate. Yuzuru finds him.





	Shiver

They’re backstage, but not far, and the chill of the rink hangs crisp in the air. Tatsuki had chosen the room for some solitude before they went out to the ice. He didn’t want to be found there. But Yuzuru always finds him, somehow.

“What are you doing here?” the younger boy asks. His gloveless fingers twitch at his sides.

“Meditating.”

Yuzuru blinks, then chuckles. “Naturally. Sorry for interrupting.”

Tatsuki shakes his head, though they both know Yuzuru was, in fact, interrupting.

It’s awkward. First and second after the short program – practically their predetermined placements at this point. Tatsuki is no longer sure what to feel. Anger and bitterness and determination and resignation consume him all at once, inhabiting him. Things change so much yet not at all.

Yuzuru fidgets, his eyes flashing down, then back up again. Tatsuki feels oddly insecure, as if he’s being inspected. The silence continues.

“You’re coming to Shanghai with us, aren’t you?”

Tatsuki flinches at the question. Yuzuru is always too blunt, too direct.

“Nothing is for certain,” he replies, cautious.

A soft smile accompanied by a shake of the head. “No. I know you are. The next time we see each other will be on the podium.” A beat of silence. “I believe in you.”

Tatsuki sighs shakily through his nose. Nervousness – or perhaps guilt. He has words memorized, but he’s saving them for later.

He swallows, cracks an unsteady smile, and says, “Good luck to us, then.”

Yuzuru smiles, that purse-lipped grin of a boy whose hopes are unscathed and unfaded, and suddenly he feels himself engulfed by warmth, encapsulated in Yuzuru’s disarming embrace.

Now it’s Tatsuki’s turn to fidget as his hands twitch by his sides, momentarily unsure of what to do until finally they rise to settle on Yuzuru’s back, timid and bewildered.

Smooth hair brushes against his ear and the breath catches in his lungs when he hears the taller boy whisper: “I can’t wait.”

Moments later Yuzuru unlocks his arms from behind Tatsuki’s back, flashing a brief smile before exiting the room the way he came in. Tatsuki is alone again. Just like he wanted.

The room doesn’t feel chilly anymore. But nonetheless, he shivers.

**Author's Note:**

> Tatsuki Machida became my favorite men's skater in the 2014-2015 season, which just so happened also to be the season he rocked the skating world with his abrupt retirement right after the conclusion of the national championships. It was my first skating-induced heartbreak, and earlier this year he reopened the wound by announcing his second retirement, this time from show skating.
> 
> I've wondered a lot of about his thought process before making the decision to retire. Now I wonder about his decision to leave his professional career behind. I'll never know if the way I imagine it comes close to the truth, but it helps to ease the sadness, just a little bit.
> 
> Tatsuki is one of a kind, both as a skater and a person. Inscrutable, fierce and brilliant. I'll miss his performances very much. And as always, I wish him the best.


End file.
